Best Glasgow quotes

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Postby kn0wledge » Mon Mar 08, 2004 8:20 pm

My favourite ever was "smell yer maw."

But you need to do the action that goes with it too:

Hold two fingers together, then draw them across your nostrils while inhaling loudly.
Eat a ham for Jesus.
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Postby peter » Sat Mar 20, 2004 10:14 pm

"As wan door closes anither yin slams in yer face". 8O
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Postby escotregen » Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:05 am

From the conductress on the old Glasgow trams:
"come on get aff"
From a caring and sensitive Glasgow mother to witty child:
"anny mair cheek, an I'll take the back o ma hon ower yir face"
From an embarrassed and snobby in-law:
"of course he's only related by marriage"
From a pub patron offering mitigation of behalf of unruly pal:
" come on, you know he's no the full shillin"
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Postby kirkyguy » Mon Mar 22, 2004 2:24 pm

you talking to me or chewin a brick..... you want your eyes back....if a had a spare six months a would slap you good looking......beatityahtube.....
masimerseroan.....schidado bawheid
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Postby DickyHart » Mon Mar 22, 2004 2:48 pm

awa an bile yer hied..

yer headin fur a spreadin..

i'll gie that many rights youll be wantin a left..
Is this gonna be a standup fight, sir, or another bughunt?
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Postby crusty_bint » Mon Mar 22, 2004 2:50 pm

"Shes/He's gote a face that looks like it wiz sat oan when it wiz hoat!"
here i go, it's coming for me through the trees
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Postby DickyHart » Mon Mar 22, 2004 2:56 pm

brilliant!! ::):

what about,

face like a burst couch
" " " bulldug chewin a wasp
" " " bag o farts
" " " " " Spanners
" " " melted wellyboot
Is this gonna be a standup fight, sir, or another bughunt?
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Postby james73 » Mon Mar 22, 2004 3:06 pm

DickyHart wrote:brilliant!! ::):

what about,

face like a burst couch
" " " bulldug chewin a wasp
" " " bag o farts
" " " " " Spanners
" " " melted wellyboot


You missed:

'face like a skelped arse' #


(# - theres a lassie in my office who has a 'face like
a skelped arse' so I'm not allowed to forget that one ::): )



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Postby crusty_bint » Mon Mar 22, 2004 3:07 pm

hahahahahaha...

hair like a burst fag
booooooozebag!!!
or "that yins a virgin... a pure cunt!"

( 8O pardon my language!)
here i go, it's coming for me through the trees
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Postby DickyHart » Mon Mar 22, 2004 3:28 pm

My old uncle used to say: yer baws are in a tin..

I never did understand it. :?:
Is this gonna be a standup fight, sir, or another bughunt?
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Postby Fossil » Mon Mar 22, 2004 7:59 pm

..she fell oot the ugly tree and hit aw the branches on the way doon…
Bum tit tit bum tit tit play yer hairy banjo
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Postby germistonguy » Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:08 pm

james73 wrote:
DickyHart wrote:brilliant!! ::):

what about,

face like a burst couch
" " " bulldug chewin a wasp
" " " bag o farts
" " " " " Spanners
" " " melted wellyboot


You missed:

'face like a skelped arse' #


(# - theres a lassie in my office who has a 'face like
a skelped arse' so I'm not allowed to forget that one ::): )



James H


some of my favourites

...face like a flat tyre
... face like a plate a porridge
... face like a halloween cake
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Postby james » Tue Mar 23, 2004 3:32 am

10 mayfair n'a packet of skins ,

a boatle'a who you lookin at

an' a kit kat for the dug ...

had to edit cos i mis spelled kat , just shows you how easy it is to make simple typos.. i usuaually ignore them and hope peeeps know what i mean , with that an d a cheap faulty keuboard , i havnt far to type before im pised off me'self , its quite a new snazzy one as well ..
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Postby Fossil » Tue Mar 23, 2004 10:04 am

..dont fancy your's much....
Bum tit tit bum tit tit play yer hairy banjo
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Postby Kirsty » Tue Mar 23, 2004 10:47 am

Oh Ya pure dancer man


excited ned opening the small dainty box containing his sovereign ring for his 14th birthday


Bolt ya nugget

when ned friend asks to borrow it to go to the dancin


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