by The Creeping Spleen » Sun Feb 16, 2020 8:39 pm
If this has been posted before, forgive me, I can't be arsed trawling through all hundred odd pages.
It's the day after Culloden, and the Redcoats are scouting about for stragglers.
A patrol spots a likely looking Highlander atop a small hill, hurling abuse at the approaching troops.
"Sergeant," orders the officer, "two men to go after that ruffian and sort him out."
The two soldiers duly march up the hill.
The Highlander turns round and runs down the back of the hill.
Sounds of fighting are heard.
Then silence.
Shortly, the kiltie appears once again, "Mon then ya sassenach swines! I'll fight yez all!"
"Two more men to go after him!" orders the Redcoat officer.
The soldiers duly march up the hill.
The Highlander turns round and runs down the back of the hill again.
More sounds of fighting, more silence.
This goes on until it's just the officer and the sergeant left.
They're just about to go up the hill themselves to find out what the hell's going on, when the first soldier they sent up crawls back - his uniform torn, musket bent into a circle, broken nose, black eye, and screaming "Get back! It's a trap! There's two of them!"
Another sunrise with my sad captains, with who I choose to lose my mind,
And if it's all we only pass this way but once, what a perfect waste of time.