A wee joke

Moderators: John, Sharon, Fossil, Lucky Poet, crusty_bint, Jazza, dazza

A wee joke

Postby kirkyguy » Thu Apr 22, 2004 2:48 pm

This wee wummin is in hospital, and the first morning they give her haggis for breakfast,how strange she thinks..then at lunch time they give her more haggis...huh this just isnt on says the wummin...so then dinner time comes round and same again, haggis....right thats it says the wee wummin,she shouts a passing doctor over and says to him, wits going on? haggis for breakfast then lunch and then dinner as well........the doctor replies what do you expect you are in the................................................................




















BURNS UNIT.........enjoy.. :P
kirkyguy
Second Stripe
Second Stripe
 
Posts: 302
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2004 9:59 pm

Postby Sharon » Thu Apr 22, 2004 2:49 pm

ahahhahhaaaaaaaa
Beware of yawning dogs.
User avatar
Sharon
Site Admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 7492
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2002 11:30 am
Location: Galloway

Postby crusty_bint » Thu Apr 22, 2004 4:47 pm

You know that Michele McManus that won Pop Idol, well I hear she's turned into one of these primadonnas, making big demands, only designer labels she wants... Sara lee, Fray Bentos ::):
here i go, it's coming for me through the trees
crusty_bint
-
-
 
Posts: 4426
Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2004 3:52 pm
Location: Glasgow

Postby kirkyguy » Sat Jul 17, 2004 12:06 pm

What do you call a three legged donkey...............................
























A wonkey....enjoy..
kirkyguy
Second Stripe
Second Stripe
 
Posts: 302
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2004 9:59 pm

Postby dazza » Sat Jul 17, 2004 2:44 pm

Well, befitting the holiday weekend, here's a joke that all Glaswegians will have heard:

There's two cows in a field. Which one is on holiday?














The one with the wee calf.

:roll:
User avatar
dazza
-
-
 
Posts: 2019
Joined: Sun Dec 07, 2003 4:25 pm

Postby Sharon » Sat Jul 17, 2004 2:46 pm

Another little joke....

What kind of bees make milk?











A boobee !
Beware of yawning dogs.
User avatar
Sharon
Site Admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 7492
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2002 11:30 am
Location: Galloway

Postby DMcNay » Sat Jul 17, 2004 4:24 pm

What's brown and sticky?



































A stick.
Too few hours in the day.
User avatar
DMcNay
Third Stripe
Third Stripe
 
Posts: 2487
Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2004 2:00 am
Location: Hermitage

Postby DMcNay » Sat Jul 17, 2004 4:25 pm

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other:



























"You ever driven one of these before?"
Too few hours in the day.
User avatar
DMcNay
Third Stripe
Third Stripe
 
Posts: 2487
Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2004 2:00 am
Location: Hermitage

Postby cumbo » Thu Jul 22, 2004 4:57 pm

What has Winnie The Pooh and Jack The Ripper got in common?











Same middle name! :roll:
User avatar
cumbo
Third Stripe
Third Stripe
 
Posts: 1723
Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2004 1:46 pm
Location: Location:Location

Postby allyharp » Thu Jul 22, 2004 8:54 pm

One of a few jokes told to me by one of the "any spare change" crew in town last night:

What's the difference between Gary Glitter and a Greyhound?....





....The greyhound waits for the hair first :oops:
User avatar
allyharp
Third Stripe
Third Stripe
 
Posts: 675
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2004 9:00 pm
Location: Bearsden

Postby turbozutek » Thu Jul 22, 2004 10:02 pm

Two guys walk into a bar....


...you think the second one would have ducked.


Chris...
User avatar
turbozutek
Third Stripe
Third Stripe
 
Posts: 2959
Joined: Wed Mar 05, 2003 11:56 pm
Location: Central

Postby Cyclo2000 » Fri Jul 23, 2004 9:30 am

Whats the difference between an egg and a wank?











You can beat an egg.
Alter Aterius Auxilio Veget
User avatar
Cyclo2000
Second Stripe
Second Stripe
 
Posts: 297
Joined: Thu May 20, 2004 1:06 pm
Location: Glasgow

Postby DMcNay » Fri Jul 23, 2004 9:35 am

An englishman, a welshman, a pakistani and a jew all walk into a bar...





























What a great example of an integrated community.
Too few hours in the day.
User avatar
DMcNay
Third Stripe
Third Stripe
 
Posts: 2487
Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2004 2:00 am
Location: Hermitage

Postby Bing Buzby » Sat Jul 24, 2004 6:36 am

What is the biggest problem with wearing a colostomy bag?






Finding a matching hat.
User avatar
Bing Buzby
Second Stripe
Second Stripe
 
Posts: 241
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2003 10:09 am
Location: Rivercity

Postby kirkyguy » Sat Jul 24, 2004 9:32 pm

.ffg
kirkyguy
Second Stripe
Second Stripe
 
Posts: 302
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2004 9:59 pm

Next

Return to Random Distractions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests