OK, so it's never going to happen, but if Glasgow ever did get to host the Olympics...we would get to introduce a new sport.
My suggestion:
Canal Angling (Team or individual)
A multi-million pound enormostadium hosts a carefully re-constructed approximation of a section of the Forth and Clyde. Artificial rain can be supplied if no real rain available on the day. Contestants take to the Nolly bank and sit there "for as long as it takes", sustained only by nips of buckfast and plain bread sanwiches.
Points are scored for hooking a pike (10 points) Bicycle (5 points) Condom (2 points)
Team event is similar but involves the intervention of a local young team. Points scored for each member of opposing team taken to casualty (10 points) Torn item of sports clothing (5 points) Dunking in the canal (2 points)
Any other suggestions?