Don't Take Advice From the Pop Stars.

[Dave]

"Woke up, fell out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And looking up I noticed I was late

Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
And somebody spoke ......."

That'll be a £500 fine and a criminal record son

[Doorstop]

"Where can you find pleasure,
Search the World for treasure,
Study new Technology?"

... sang the Village People in their classic rendition of the ditty "In The Navy."

Well, I think you'll find the prime directive of the US Navy isn't to "search for treasure" (we'll just put the finding pleasure thing to one side, shall we?), it's to protect and defend the right of the United States and her allies to move freely on the oceans and to protect the country against her enemies.

Searching for treasure is more what pirates get up to, and lose the cowboy hat son, it's not regulation uniform .. not even for pirates.

[sunnysider]

"Asking only workman's wages I go looking for a job..." sang Simon & Garfunkel in The Boxer.

And blew their credibility to buggery with one word.

Only

What - as opposed to getting paid extra for being a pair of smug, patronising, middle class fratboy arseholes, would that be?

Twats.

[BrigitDoon]

"I woke up this morning." (trad.)

No you didn't, you drunken bum. You were on the pish until 4am; you stumbled in, crashed on the sofa and didn't wake up until the hangover kicked in at 1pm whereupon you went to the pub for a hair of the dog.

[yoker brian]

Recently, when I found myself up before the sherriff on a charge of shoplifting, I forwent my right to legal representation and instead followed the Jackson 5s advice. My plea was "not guilty" and, in fact, the crime could be blamed fairly and squarely on the boogie.

Result - 180quid fine and 100 hours community service.

[Lone Groover]

Recently, when I found myself up before the sherriff on a charge of shoplifting, I forwent my right to legal representation and instead followed the Jackson 5s advice. My plea was "not guilty" and, in fact, the crime could be blamed fairly and squarely on the boogie.

Result - 180quid fine and 100 hours community service.

You have raised the bar there Bri.

[BrigitDoon]

Yup. That's outta reach, man. I think I'll shut up and play my guitar.

That, at least, was sound advice from Frank Zappa.

[Doorstop]

The bastard has indeed ramped the competition up a fair old notch or three .. how dare he?

I'll actually have to think about things now.

See what you've done YB? Hope you're proud of your bloody self.

[2HB]

Did Lou Reed write Smack My Bitch Up as well then?.

[Bridie]

"I'll be your long-haired lover from Liverpool
You'll be my sunshine daisy from LA"

eh No I'm Claire from Billericay and it's my first time on singles.com

[yoker brian]

Please accept my humblest apologies LG/BD/DS, I consider myself well & truly chastised, I'm off to have my bread & water.

[Lone Groover]

Please accept my humblest apologies LG/BD/DS, I consider myself well & truly chastised, I'm off to have my bread & water. ::):

Hope it's past it's sell by date


Meanwhile.

"Da doo Ron Ron Ron...."


I think Ronnie & Reg had too much influence in those days.....

[Lone Groover]

eh No I'm Claire from Billericay and it's my first time on singles.com

My given name is Ricky, and I come from illericay- and I'm doing............ very well ! "

[2HB]

Simon And Garfunkel reckon there must be 50 ways to leave your lover,but i need only one, tied up and the bank card and the purse emptied .

[Bridie]

I'm enjoying this wee thread







Thanks