Depression

[glasgowken]

Plenty of stuff about it on the net if you want to read up. Although maddeningly it's mostly about short term depression, not so much on the lifelong type.

[Scotty100]

Thank you for the kind words. I'm afraid to say a good part of my current position is self inflicted. I was at a Glasgow Warriors match last month and after 10 months sober thought it would be ok to have just one wee malt to celebrate our win. WRONG. Back to square one and I am so disgusted with myself.
For years I was in denial, I kept telling myself "middle class, university educated professionals don't suffer from depression or have problems with alcohol" WRONG!
On reviewing my life history with my psychologist we identified almost every manic and depressive episode dating back to my school years.
Taking alcohol neutralises the effect of my lithium medication and has let the fecking big black dog back out of its kennel.
It is a very scary place to be. The pain of alcohol withdrawal and detox again is frightening me.

John

[BrigitDoon]

Thank you for the kind words. I'm afraid to say a good part of my current position is self inflicted. I was at a Glasgow Warriors match last month and after 10 months sober thought it would be ok to have just one wee malt to celebrate our win. WRONG. Back to square one and I am so disgusted with myself.

No, no, no. 10 months is an outstanding achievement. Stand back and admire it. If you've done it once, you can do it again. It's like learning to ski. You fall over a lot to start with, then it becomes less frequent and eventually it becomes quite unusual. You're not back to square one. You won't have those particular ten months again and you're older and wiser.

For years I was in denial...

...and now you're not. There's half the battle.

On reviewing my life history with my psychologist...

Professional help too. Good.

Taking alcohol neutralises the effect of my lithium medication and has let the fecking big black dog back out of its kennel.

Alcohol will cause depression on its own.

It is a very scary place to be. The pain of alcohol withdrawal and detox again is frightening me.

Speak to your GP about having something to settle the nervous system so that you don't get the heebie-jeebies. Stopping suddenly can be quite risky. Withdrawal brings exaggerated nerve impulses and things like Gabapentin can reduce the effect.

Keep plugging away with the psychologist. When you find out what's at the bottom of it all, hopefully, you'll be able to deal with it.

After a while you can recognize the signs
So if you get it wrong you'll get it right next time (next time).
Gerry Rafferty, Get It Right Next Time

[hungryjoe]

Re Scotty 100's post:
I was going to post something earlier, I'm glad now I didn't. Brigit did it better than I ever could have.

[rabmania]

Nice one BD. I've just finished reading 'A life too short', about the German goalkeeper Robert Encke. A little understanding of the Black Dog might have meant a better ending to that story.

[Fat Cat]

Sorry to hear what people are going through
Personally i'm going to have to take some action in the new year, I can't go on like this. For years there's been no highs, only lows and middling numbness. No one can go on like that.

This struck a chord with me. I can't say I feel in the depths of dispair but I cannot remember the last time I felt happy, light or looked forward to something. It doesn't help being in a shitey job with no prospects of getting out of it.

I don't want to go on medication again but don't want it to develop into something worse, which I have experienced before.

And I fucking hate Christmas so am glad to see the back of it to be honest.

[Doorstop]

Thank you for the kind words. I'm afraid to say a good part of my current position is self inflicted. I was at a Glasgow Warriors match last month and after 10 months sober thought it would be ok to have just one wee malt to celebrate our win. WRONG. Back to square one and I am so disgusted with myself.

No, no, no. 10 months is an outstanding achievement. Stand back and admire it. If you've done it once, you can do it again. It's like learning to ski. You fall over a lot to start with, then it becomes less frequent and eventually it becomes quite unusual. You're not back to square one. You won't have those particular ten months again and you're older and wiser.

For years I was in denial...

...and now you're not. There's half the battle.

On reviewing my life history with my psychologist...

Professional help too. Good.

Taking alcohol neutralises the effect of my lithium medication and has let the fecking big black dog back out of its kennel.

Alcohol will cause depression on its own.

It is a very scary place to be. The pain of alcohol withdrawal and detox again is frightening me.

Speak to your GP about having something to settle the nervous system so that you don't get the heebie-jeebies. Stopping suddenly can be quite risky. Withdrawal brings exaggerated nerve impulses and things like Gabapentin can reduce the effect.

Keep plugging away with the psychologist. When you find out what's at the bottom of it all, hopefully, you'll be able to deal with it.

After a while you can recognize the signs
So if you get it wrong you'll get it right next time (next time).
Gerry Rafferty, Get It Right Next Time

x 1000

[HollowHorn]

+1

[Scotty100]

You guys made me cry but not because of a depressive episode or my feelings of shame at falling off the wagon, you made me cry with relief knowing there are a great bunch of people who understand and offer support.
I feel humbled and privileged to know all of you even in this virtual world we inhabit. You people are something special. As for you Brigit you clearly are a wise and caring human being whose words have lifted my spirits and given me fresh hope for the future.
Thank you to each and every one of you.
John

[BrigitDoon]

Take care, John. I'll recommend this book because it was a great help to me:

Dying For A Drink - A No-nonsense Guide For Heavy Drinkers

by Dr Tim Cantopher

Amazon

The good doctor is full of sage words and his other books (loosely based on the same underlying script) have been useful to other members of the forum. "Stress-Related Illness" and "Depressive Illness - The Curse Of The Strong". Other books of interest and use are "Games People Play" by Eric Berne (mentioned by Cantopher) and "How To Stay Sober - Recovery Without Religion" by James Christopher for those who won't have anything to do with AA, Higher Powers and god-bothering generally.

[VGSmiles]

The people in here are very special indeed.

I'd like to throw in a couple cents and personal experience in the hope that maybe it can help one person or another. I used to have bouts of depression, from mild to occasionally severe, and also to be quite anxious. One day I watched a program on TV about Gluten intolerance. I figured, why not try cutting it out, can't hurt. The effect was surprising and dramatic. After one week I mellowed out completely. I started being happier and no longer had days where the world was coming to an end for no apparent reason.
Now I am well aware this only would work if you actually were having a problem with Gluten, but I suppose there is no harm in trying here or at least in looking into it. Not even sure it was the Gluten and not something else in grain products. Anyhow I think it has to do with nutrient malabsorption. It is challenging as the stuff really is in nearly everything we eat, but a lot of shops are catching on. And my mum believes it's all in my head. I don't care, it really worked for me.

And my heart goes out to all people battling with depression. I have lost someone dear to it a year and a half ago.

[RapidAssistant]

I am having to deal with it myself - my Mum passed away just 8 weeks ago and although I'm coping reasonably well myself, my Dad has taken it really badly. One of the big problems is, as an only child I have had sole responsibility for sorting out his affairs, it's a generation thing I guess he just isn't capable of doing all the day to day grind associated with running a household, and it doesn't help when you have banks dragging their feet divving up the estate (when someone dies 'in testate' i.e. without a will, the problems in trying to release money to pay bills adds another dimension to the aggro and grief)

Makes matters worse when he lives in Glasgow still, and I am trying to manage things from 64 miles away up here in Perth. But I am having to watch my Dad making himself ill - since the tragic event he's already ended up in GRI once with a near-heart attack which was mercifully avoided just before it was too late, now he has turned to drink as I have discovered. Not good, my advice is to get professional help straightaway as I have forced him to go and see the doctor.

[jodieohdoh]

I am having to deal with it myself - my Mum passed away just 8 weeks ago and although I'm coping reasonably well myself, my Dad has taken it really badly.

Hi there. I just wanted to tell you for what it's worth, we're all here to lend an ear or our tuppence if we have any worth giving! My mums going through this just now- my gran died in 2010 and my grandpa just this December. It's a terrible combination of stress & grief and it seems sometimes the full force of the grief doesn't hit until you've stopped running round crazy trying to sort everything out. Muddling through as best we can seems to be the order of the day.

I came back onto this thread in the first place to post this wot I found on ye olde Twitter : http://thebloggess.com/2012/01/the-fight-goes-on/

[Fat Cat]

I am having to deal with it myself - my Mum passed away just 8 weeks ago and although I'm coping reasonably well myself, my Dad has taken it really badly. One of the big problems is, as an only child I have had sole responsibility for sorting out his affairs, it's a generation thing I guess he just isn't capable of doing all the day to day grind associated with running a household, and it doesn't help when you have banks dragging their feet divving up the estate (when someone dies 'in testate' i.e. without a will, the problems in trying to release money to pay bills adds another dimension to the aggro and grief)

Makes matters worse when he lives in Glasgow still, and I am trying to manage things from 64 miles away up here in Perth. But I am having to watch my Dad making himself ill - since the tragic event he's already ended up in GRI once with a near-heart attack which was mercifully avoided just before it was too late, now he has turned to drink as I have discovered. Not good, my advice is to get professional help straightaway as I have forced him to go and see the doctor.

My thoughts are with you. My dad had major surgery just over a years ago. he's 81 and just seems really depressed. My mum has eventually talked (or nagged!) him into going to the docs. But they are the type of couple who don't talk about anything, especially to us. Maybe its a generational thing.

Perhaps in your situation it would be worth contacting his local social services about getting a bit of home help or day care. They are very good. Even the hospitals are good at referring elderly for social services. worth a try. Being at such a distance, it must be a constant worry.

[BrigitDoon]

Stress-Related Illness (Advice for people who give too much)

Dr Tim Cantopher (Sheldon Press, ISBN 978-0-85969-971-6)

Back cover blurb:

It makes no sense to be kind to others but not to yourself - yet that's exactly what many people do. They berate, push and deny themselves in a way they would never consider treating anyone else... Dr Cantopher explains how to get and stay well, achieve your goals and be healthier and happier.

Chapter 4

Toxic People and Places

(see p.107 [Chapter 7 - Dealing with toxic people and places -> p.29 - Parents...])

People are the worst stressors of all. While it is undoubtedly true that the best experiences in life come from our relationships with others, so do the worst ones. Though you can change a hateful job, though time heals losses and traumas, pernicious people are always there, digging away at you, pushing until you go under. Many of my patients* with stress-related illness have one or more illness-inducing people in their lives; often several. My patients are mostly the good, diligent givers of the world. Most people are quite nice most of the time anyway, but a small minority aren't. They are on the lookout people like you, those they can take advantage of. They've got sharp antennae, and if you don't actively keep them away, they'll find you. Before you know it you'll be surrounded by these takers and would be excused for thinking that most people are selfish, critical and undermining. They aren't; it's just that these ones are, and you're letting them use you.

*Dr Cantopher is a psychiatrist.